Episode 23
Is “I’m Tired” Keeping You Stuck? What Your Nervous System Might Be Hiding
Is “I’m tired” actually true, or is it your nervous system trying to protect you?
Have you ever told yourself, “I’m just too tired” or “I don’t have the bandwidth right now” and it felt honest, but also a little off?
Maybe it was a hard conversation you avoided. A class you skipped. A next step you kept pushing down the to-do list. If you’re a high-capacity, high-achieving human who still finds yourself stuck in old patterns, I want to gently ask: What if the tiredness isn’t just physical? What if it’s protective?
In this episode, Lauren Dry shares a powerful and personal story about the moment she realized “I’m tired” had become her go-to escape clause. With the support of a trusted mentor, she uncovered what was really underneath that phrase and how it was quietly shaping her relationship with growth, rest, and regulation.
Because sometimes what we call exhaustion is really the nervous system saying, This feels too vulnerable. And when we can name that, we begin to shift out of self-abandonment and into something much more nourishing.
You’ll hear about:
- The hidden cost of saying “I’m too tired” and how it might be quietly stalling your goals
- How the nervous system disguises freeze or fawn responses as busyness or burnout
- The difference between true exhaustion and subtle dissociation
- “Escape clause” phrases that sound responsible but actually block your healing
- How to stretch safely without slipping into self-abandonment
Resources & Links:
- Rise into Regulation™ — The skillset for connection, communication, and Nervous System safety in modern marriage
- Connect with Lauren on Instagram — @lauren_dry
If this episode stirred something in you, please share it with a friend, leave a review, or come chat with me on Instagram. I’d love to hear what landed for you.
Big love,
Lauren X
Transcript
[00:00:15] Lauren Dry: One marriage breakdown and one marriage reset later, and finally discovering what really works to have connection in modern relationships using science, simplicity, and soul. Our signature program Rise Into Regulation was Born. It's giving so many others in modern driven relationships, back [00:00:30] clarity and ease for good.
[:[00:01:14] Lauren Dry: When I [00:01:15] was doing my, upskilling of my certifications, I actually had a mentor who I was working with again, who was wonderful. Shout out to you, Jeremy, and when it came to upskilling my qualifications and adding some additional, work [00:01:30] around my hypnotherapy experience, I went into the class having full awareness that a lot of the work there I had done before.
[:[00:02:02] Lauren Dry: That when it comes to some of this material, I have already done it before and I want to be really respectful of your space, so I'm not going to come [00:02:15] to the parts of the course where I've already done this material. I, I don't want to show up yawning or disinterested. I wanna be really respectful of your space.
[:[00:02:51] Lauren Dry: I am really, really tired. I hardly got any sleep last night. I've been so busy with work, so exhausted. My son's not [00:03:00] sleeping and I just wanna show up as my best and I don't want to, give any kind of communication to your wonderful other students that I'm not interested in the work that we're doing together.
[:[00:03:32] Lauren Dry: I am tired. Because I'm tired. You know, it's a, a human trait. It happens and it happens when you go past your capacity. And it's okay for me to own when I've gone past my capacity. And he said to me, I just want you to sit with the question for a [00:03:45] second and see what comes up. And bless him, he's, he's a wonderful container.
[:[00:04:07] Lauren Dry: Why haven't I, done my upskilling of this before now? Why didn't I go and reset my hidden patterns when I knew for years [00:04:15] after doing the research that this was the one thing that was gonna work for me in my marriage and in all of my relationships when I was having difficulty? Why did I postpone so many things?
[:[00:04:48] Lauren Dry: In fact, although I felt tired that day, I was no, no more tired in comparison than some other times that I had been. And to be honest, it didn't look like I was going to be any [00:05:00] less tired in the future. And so I paused and I said. Oh, that's a really, really interesting point and I sat with it and it's something that, I'll be honest, has completely changed my life because there are times where, you know what.
[:[00:05:28] Lauren Dry: Don't go past that time [00:05:30] period, cause otherwise, you know, what you're doing is, self abandonment. We can't have that. But I was no more busy at that point than I ever was in the past. What I really challenged myself, around that phrase and what sat with me for so long afterwards was this [00:05:45] question, am I using the phrase I am tired or I am busy as a way to protect myself from healthy discomfort, which is, it's timed.
[:[00:06:11] Lauren Dry: I'm dissociating. I'm convincing myself [00:06:15] that in order to feel safe, I have to move away from discomfort. But if we just only move away from any kind of discomfort, and that's our nervous system response and we believe it, what we are doing is not helping ourselves. We are dissociating, [00:06:30] which creates unhealthy discomfort.
[:[00:06:53] Lauren Dry: I'm tired or, I'm busy. I wanna lovingly hold your hand as I say [00:07:00] this. You are right. You are probably are tired and you probably are busy, but ask yourself lovingly, has this phrase been stopping me from practicing a regulation tool, maybe putting on a breath work exercise. Maybe [00:07:15] reaching out for some support.
[:[00:07:31] Lauren Dry: When we understand the power and the difference between true exhaustion that needs to be nourished versus an escape clause phrase that we use for ourselves. Then we have autonomy. We have [00:07:45] the opposite of control. We have mastery, and so I wanna share with you some common escape clause phrases. I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm too busy, I don't have time.
[:[00:08:23] Lauren Dry: And so what I did following that conversation is I went to the class and I finished and [00:08:30] redid the elements that I had done before, and I did get a lot out of it. I got a lot out of it that I didn't expect, and I'm, I will be forever grateful to my first mentor for allowing me to sit in that discomfort in a loving, beautiful, compassionate way.
[:[00:09:03] Lauren Dry: And most importantly, when it comes to my goals and the things that I want, am I creating a healthy relationship between true levels of exhaustion versus, you know, stretchy healthy discomfort and [00:09:15] allowing myself an opportunity to grow, but also having full awareness of where it's stretchy versus past my capacity?
[:[00:09:46] Lauren Dry: I hope this episode supported you. And as always, if you have some more questions or if it's brought something up in you, something you wanna talk about and you really wanna talk to someone who gets it, come and hang out with me on Instagram. I would love to chat with you. It would be wonderful to [00:10:00] connect.
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